Three things I learned from watching two and a half hours of "Idol Gives Back" last night: Heart still rocks, Teri Hatcher has a decent voice, and Fergie can do one-handed cartwheels. While singing in leather pants. For that, I say props, woman.
In spite of myself, I actually enjoyed Idol's now yearly telethon show to raise awareness for children living in poverty or suffering from debilitating and terminal diseases. Unlike last year, the taped segments weren't overly treacly, the music performances were entertaining, and the guest stars were A-list. (Although I have to say: after scoring the coup of getting Brad Pitt to present on your show, you have him introduce... Daughtry? Shouldn't it be the other way around?) Even the cross-promotions weren't as egregious as normal. Aside from Fox's deft incorporation of the So You Think You Can Dance performers with the remaining contestants, the most pimped-out network actually seemed to be ABC, as Jimmy Kimmel talked a tad too much about Simon's nipples and Teri Hatcher (!) rocked out to Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." The Desperate Housewives star was clearly talked into the gig by James Denton, her TV husband and guitarist for the fantastic Band From TV. For those who unfamiliar with the group, Band From TV is actually a charity cover band started by ubiquitous J.J. Abrams character actor Greg Grunberg that claims Hugh Laurie and Bob Guiney among its members. Though Hugh tragically did not appear on the show, Jesse "Dr. Chase" Spencer delightfully picked up the slack (and finally got some airtime!) with his vigorous violin playing.
The other musical performances were hit or miss. Snoop Dogg brought it, Fergie and Heart brought it, Carrie Underwood was looking gorgeous, and I'm a sucker for Miley Cyrus ("See You Again" repeats on my iPod gym mix). I loved that she kind of awkwardly stomped around the stage, flung her arms in all directors, and danced basically like the 15-year old that she is, as opposed to a hyper-sexualized femmebot.
"Idol" also attracted a high wattage of hodgepodge celebrities (Eli and Peyton Manning, who was much nicer to those New Orleans teens than the United Way kids he once tried to "coach") and Brits strong-armed by the Simons (Cowell and Fuller) to present (. In addition to usual suspects Bono and Annie Lennox, female A-listers Reese Witherspoon, Julianne Moore, and Jennifer Connelly all physically presented or taped segments; a distinctly dark-tressed Ben Stiller delivered a hit and miss comedy intro (though his comment about AI essentially being about "convincing crazy people that they belong on television" was right on target), and Dane Cook was unfunny as usual. There was also a kinda-Comic Relief reunion, with Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal, and Robin Williams - wearing the fugliest shirt I've seen in a long time and doing completely dated schtick - all taking turns in from of the camera.
The AI contestants themselves were meh. The Rent sing-a-long, while a good fit in theory, seemed disjointed, and the kids all, in the words of Randy Jackson, all worked it out for Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop the Music." It was a hawt night, dog!
